The importance of mastering detachment

Hey loves!

Detachment is described as disconnecting from a relationship, feeling, thought or assumption.

For clarity, I am referencing emotional detachment as it is a skill I am currently self training on. Believe me when I tell you my self love journey is no joke because I am always learning and changing (growing).

Lately, I had a negative experience I couldn’t shake off for a while. Matter of fact, the person that got me angered could feel it but I carried on with a horrible mood that day then learnt something great after talking to a mentor.

Emotional detachment from any situation is an early step that boosts ones chances of making logical decisions. When emotions get in the way, our judgement is flawed which usually leads to biased decision making. In this case, I could have saved my energy and realized my reaction was my power.

I’m usually good with that but like I said practice makes perfect and this is a required life skill that we should try to learn so that one can leverage this when needed.

Four benefits are;

– Lower chances of sabotaging situations.

– Better Judgement calls.

– Clarity even when emotions run high!

– Quick decision making skills

Thanks for reading love!

YOUR TURN to share – do you practice this? Have you ever had to detach? Talk to me.

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The key to Dealing with People.

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Hi readers! Happy Tuesday!

I am writing this post with everyone in mind and giving tips on how to deal with people in general. As a true Oprah fan, I watch greeenleaf and there is an episode that stuck with me till this day. In that episode, it basically talks about how a lot of us have high expectations of others and even feel entitled to the point that when people do not act or respond the way we expect, we feel wronged.

If you are out there and this is you, no matter what side you fall on everyone needs to realize that nobody is perfect except God. When we get angry or disappointed over things we cannot control such as peoples behaviors etc., we are missing the point. This is why one of the the most popular life rules states that one should love his/her neighbor the same way he/she loves him/her-self.

Personally, I have had my own struggles trying to understand all the unique individuals I have met in my life and I actually got disappointed and angry often enough to realize something was not right.

For example; A unique trait I posess that shows my imperfect nature is sensitivity and its such a great yet bad thing because I am not able to joke around as much as my friends do or tolerate some little things e.g not texting me back when I send an essay LOL. The good thing about this trait is that I am full of empathy and because of that, life has blessed me with amazing close friends. There is a lot of inner self work that  goes into accepting oneself and I encourage everyone to try to pay more attention to this. If I didnt, I would not be able to see why I took things personal often (super unhealthy).

Life is so beautiful that I have now been blessed with friends who accept me the way I am and actually understand me as opposed to simply ignoring or overlooking that characteristic about me. My real friends will text me saying, ‘Hey love, I see your text. I am working and will reply on my lunch break’. Instead of ignoring me then calling me after work or the next day saying bla bla bla….

In the past, I would probably not answer my friend’s phone calls for a while but now, they get me so they would over communicate and if they don’t, I realize I’m being a big baby and simply wait.

Make sense? See how it works both ways?

On that note, I love to help as always so here are some tips to help you do better when dealing with people and maintaining your realtionships better be it at work, school or even where you reside. We are complex creatures and life is hard enough already? Why complicate it even further?

  1. Be kind – its not difficult and it will come back to you.
  2. Listen more to other people’s problems and complain less then maybe in that gratitude you have hope then you can be fully present and available to support the other person.
  3. Place people unapologetically – we make friends and meet people all the time but not everyone you meet is supposed to stay in your life so discern and figure out what type of relationship you may have and make sure you re not expecting the right things from the wrong person.
  4. Self love is always key because it affects how others treat you and how you treat yourself.
  5. Self awareness  is key and enables us to understand our actions and reactions.
  6. Strive for independence so you do not find yourself needy all the time as we can’t lives life constantly needing others, find yourself first and then support will come naturally.

Please feel free to ask me any questions or leave a comment down below on your thoughts.

Much love,

Addie.