August Blues – I got played?

Ile saw me at a restaurant while I was on a date with someone else. We both knew I was wasting my time on that date because once it was over, he made sure he got my number while his elderly uncle cheered him on. Lol!
I enjoyed the chase but played hard to get for a little while. I got to know him and found him genuine, honest and hardworking so we hung out for a while and had a good time. His friends and I got along well but he had so much drama from a previous relationship he was getting out of.
I didn’t feel at ease with it so I backed off and eventually stopped seeing him. Some months later since he was blocked on every platform I could think off, his persistence led him to send me a cashapp (money transfer app) message saying please call me.
I was hollering!
I replied back and we started talking and catching up – he was single and just working…it was summer so I decided to just have fun with it – parties, kickbacks, weekend trips etc.
He started trying to be serious and I had some concerns I had never voiced so I kept it cool for a while.
To respect privacy, I won’t go into detail but I wasn’t sure if the jobs he claimed he did were his only source of income based on what I saw…
I was sure something was off so I slowly weaned him off and it was tough until God made it easy.
His ex sent a doctors note stating that she was three months pregnant and that’s when reality kicked in for both of us – I knew I made the right decision then and there.
My mood was suddenly: I’m good luv, enjoy.
It stung a bit but so far so good, I’m cutting my loses and not looking back. No such thing as being friends – heal away so that it doesn’t bleed into your next relationship.
It’s taking some time but that’s the gift of life 🖤
After deciding to move on above, it was too late. I had already caught feelings.
So I gave it time and attention without really wanting it. How much more damage did I do? Too much.
He was showing signs of being conflicted and felt like he was under pressure. It made sense – someone is pregnant for you!
He told me he didn’t want the baby and wanted to be with me but it didn’t feel right. Luckily, I had a vacation I planned a while ago so I left for Jamaica.
A week later I returned and he proposed while I was away which I challenged + in less than twenty four hours, it turned out he had proposed to his ex and started planning a wedding.
I was so pained!
I knew I was not a player and had no business lingering in this situationship but damn!
Shed a tea or two but I’m good now,
Detaching is my thing I guess?
He further explained it was all fake and that it wasn’t real but he wanted to play along with her until he could get her to abort the baby.
I realized how cruel he could be and will not be an ally to malicious behavior so goodbye Maradona. Get your life!
Lessons Learned here?
1. Don’t linger at all if they do not feel like what you want.
2. Date with a low expectations and do not project too much into the future to avoid major disappointment, simply get to know the person.
3. Discern as always and never doubt your gut for anything!
4. Speak up for yourself – let no one think you are stupid or need them.
5. Don’t doubt yourself after you’ve made a decision, see it through and be firm with your decision. It’s not easy balancing emotion with logic but it is possible!