Self Love: Easing out of promiscuity

Hey girl, hey!
Today’s topic is sensitive but must be discussed because a lot of our girls are in pain and they don’t know why.
They are lost and going in circles looking for answers and I hope to provide clarity.
Sleeping around is not and will never be normal or acceptable because besides it being a sin, it has consequences that are not for the weak. Some are below;
– Constant body count increase
– Higher chances of STD contraction
– Lack of sense of self
– Nymphomania
– Unnecessary soul ties & more!
Now these are just a few but imagine all the harm you are putting your temple through and for what? Attention? Temporary satiation? Money?
Sex is sacred and to be shared between spouses with the end goal of procreation and not as a task, job or habit.
Sex ties into self love because as I continued my journey it was one of those domino effects that occur once you begin to love you. I started slow because trust me change takes time (true change I mean). I enjoyed it but once self love met me halfway I got picky with the men, then I got selfish with my time as far as being available and then I got even more selfish by choosing me and not even understanding why I should open my legs!
Personally, I want everlasting love that is unconditional and to give that I need to love me and become that love I hope to give AND receive. It is only right and part of the reasons I have not settled.
Other things to think about when meditating on this topic; Why do you have sex? Do you feel proud after climax? What are the benefits? Does your religion approve of sex before marriage? Is your receiver deserving of that love? What is your body count? How will you enjoy marriage if you keep sleeping around? If you don’t wait now, why will he wait while you’re 9 months pregnant if he never did so before? If he’s not your husband, why give him an unearned soul tie? Why?
Darling, here are five ways to ease into abstinence and stop messing with guys or having boyfriends to no end;
– Get productive and prioritize YOUR goals eg career, education, fitness, nutrition etc.
– Prayer.
– As you love yourself you know what you really want so try not to fall for just anything. Be patient.
– Get back in the gym to get fit for your health and that of your future child’s.
– Go for confession often, research suitable therapists and talk to trusted friends. I’m sure Jay-Z has said this too many times but it won’t hurt quoting him one last time – “you can’t heal what you don’t reveal”.
All my love girls!
Good luck 🖤

One comment

  1. This is really good Adeola, keep up the good work! I constantly ask myself this question. I don’t claim to be a saint but I’m happy to say that I’m still a virgin and haven’t had sex yet, not even oral. And the reasons are exactly what you stated above, body count isn’t even my problem, it’s the soul ties. Why would i want to get so attached to a person that isn’t wholly committed to me, that can just up and leave whenever and for whatever reason? I know myself, it would literally and physically break me. I was talking to a friend of mine who is also a virgin but she feels pressured to have sex because all her friends have and she wants to be able to make similar comments or give input when they’re talking about their experiences. Before I met her I thought peer pressure to have sex was not a big deal, but it’s obviously an issue for some. I can understand that being a virgin or abstaining from sex “might” make a girl less desirable to a guy but if that guy respects you and is right for you he would respect your decisions and not convince you to have sex or make a mockery of your choices.
    I’m also trying to understand why people walk in and out of relationships like they’re walking in and out of lectures. I sort of get that loving a person is a risk but I also believe that we can save ourselves a lot of heartbreak if we take smart risks.
    Thanks for sharing this!
    I love your dimples by the way, you’re too cute!