Hey girl hey!
October has been crazy busy for me and I hope that you can forgive me because I just filled my calendar up with growth opportunities.
I just wanted to do it!
What you may ask?
Left my state temporarily, had midterms and needed a virtual break.
I’m back now and God always uses life to teach me things that help me get where I need to be in life and I appreciate him so much for staying by me.
Enjoy this list and let me know if any of these lessons help;
1. Life is borrowed. We all have an expiry dates so it all boils down to whether you lived well and made a significant impact in the world.
On that note, I decided to be more vulnerable with my posts and true to self because there is an audience I want to connect with and help grow. I really do not want any girls going through what I have gone through. Matter of fact, it won’t be fair to just go through life and keep all these experiences or mistakes I have learnt from.
The message here is ensure you live a good life. No one else is responsible for that but you.
2. Patience is a virtue that is unfortunately not common. With how tough life is, you will need to learn that if not already learnt because in dealing with people and life events, patience is required for understanding, learning and discernment.
Ask God to help you with being patient so that you can also be more accepting of others and their differences.
In essence, you will be a better person when you take your time with things and not rush through life. It’s already short to be honest so just chill.
3. Doubting one self is the beginning of confusion. When you do not stick to a decision made, it makes you question self trust and we all have to trust ourselves so that we can love ourselves better.
E.g I keep blocking and unblocking my ex and my brains always asks me what I’m looking for.
I wish I knew because in a matter of days after unblocking, I’m reminded of the reason I decided to just move on in the first place.
Imagine! Why break my own heart for no reason just because I won’t woman up and stick to a decision?! Ugh.
4. Respect others.
A person is made up of cells, family upbringing, life events, education and finally, religion. These are a lot of components we all know nothing about when you meet a person.
As you get to know them they share more about who they are but respect is important because you will not always agree and you have to be able to communicate and argue effectively without being rude.
I learnt this at work and it’s a stickler because I am now working on respecting others more.
5. Sex is not overrated (for those who said it was here’s why you might feel that way)
I got to this place where I had had enough but I had it with all the wrong people so I wasn’t even sure what a true connection felt like as opposed to just laying there and not being present.
Matter of fact it has gotten more difficult to just open my legs anyhow over temporary pleasure and semi permanent pain. I get the feelings sometimes and figure it out somehow but as I m growing with my self love journey, it is a sin as a Catholic so I do my best to preserve myself.
Not perfect but acknowledging it is a first step. In essence, close your legs so that when you do open them it feels right.
6. Pace your life
Everything happens in seasons. It ties into not rushing but it’s a different point because pacing/finding a balance often holds little weight with some of us. We fill our schedules with things to keep us from facing the deeper aspects of self that require attention i.e. connecting with people, mental health, fitness etc.
Make time for recreational activities, dream chasing and self care so that you can really feel healthy and fulfilled.
For me, I dropped one major because I was getting my masters degree in two fields and thought what is my end goal? Do I really care for this degree? Will I use it or I just want to please my parents? Since It held no true value, I took the stress and fake productivity off my plate and was able to reorganize better.
Another example was when my last relationship didn’t work out, I almost rushed through healing and wanted to replace him to fill that void but God forced me to stick with it, deal with the emotions by sending me a helper to understand why it happened so it doesn’t repeat itself.
7. The importance of family
Now all my friends know I can’t fully relate here because I’m from a semi mixed and separated family which has helped me more than hurt but I have to elaborate here.
There was a day I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone but my sisters face kept flashing in my mind and I had convinced myself that she was too young to be there for me as a first born so I decided not to talk to her.
Days later, I wasn’t feeling any better and I just did it.
She advised me and cheered me up and it’s not a big deal but to me. I do not take the family I’m still close to for granted. Their happiness is mine and I know that I will never be alone as long as I have them. They empower me and make me feel whole.
Some friends do become family but in the end it is not the same. Blood is blood.
8. Women carry too much
This one was an eye opener because the expectations on women in our society today is ridiculous. We’re expected to have a 9-5, full on education, stay healthy (skinny even if possible), have kids, care for a spouse, keep the house in good shape, have a career etc.
Does this list ever end? Are we empowering men to do the same?
I’ll leave this here but as a millennial pick wisely. Personally my spouse (wherever he is) will need to show a level of understanding as I am an ambitious woman and there is a price.
I won’t be cooking daily bro but we can make a roster 😂
9. Dealing with People is a skill
I’ve met too many types of human beings and we are all beautifully flawed so i’ll share a tip that works for me.
I somehow figure out your birthday(Well, you tell me cus I ain’t no creep 😂) and because I’m spiritual, I believe in zodiacs so it gives me an idea of what your personality might be like.
E.g most cancers are extreme nurturers and come off super nice or guarded, Libras are charismatic and great at being diplomatic. Aquarius’ are helpers and Capricorn’s super stubborn plus love to be in control.
Off course, there is more but these are a few I’m super familiar with.
Over time, I match the personality with the life experiences you’ve shared with me and we grow as friends because I understand you better.
Try it out loves, it works!
10. When life burns you out or you get overwhelmed – prioritize you even more!
Sometimes it all gets so crazy with work, school, life etc but when you start feeling tired and demotivated, make sure you take a break and begin a scheduled self care routine. Do only what makes you happy and rejuvenate your spirit for newer and better girl.
With all that being said, I hope you can take away some things and incorporate them into your life tools for becoming an awesome person!
Love you 🖤